Stoke that Fire!

There are many things I have learned this winter regarding warmth, fire, wood, and kindling. One of them is the idea of stoking the fire. I had heard the term and knew it involved moving things around with the poker that comes in the fireplace utensil kit.

I did not know, however, the importance of the stoking to keep the fire going. There can be nice hot coals under a smoldering log and, without the proper air flow, there are no flames and not a whole lot of heat. The poker is now my favorite tool--- I use it to make seemingly barely lit logs that have been on the fire for a while turn into a heap of beautiful coals. I bust those logs up with the poker and pile up the coals in the middle of the stove. I can then place a new log on the coals. I leave the stove door cracked to get some good air flow. Within seconds, the new log will burst into flames. I then close the door and let it burn until it too seems to be out and then poke again.

There are days when I feel like the old burnt log. I am smoldering but not really hot. I feel suffocated by the meanness and manipulation that surrounds us. I need a good poke to keep me alive. Then I can become aware of my purpose and can get some air to fuel my fire. I am thankful that the Word of God is that poker in my life. He reminds me of His truths and of His unchanging character. People around us are filled with ill intent and hopeless self-pity and blame, but He does not change like shifting shadows. I am encouraged to not let my fire burn out. Life is hard and people are cruel, but there is a steadfastness in God alone, and He is the flame that keeps the fire going.

So, I will keep the fire burning in my home on this very cold Colorado morning, and I will trust the Lord to keep the fire of faith in my heart. Stoking is a necessary part of the process. May we stir each other up for good in our day to day lives. Keep the fire going. This world is a cold place.

Isaiah 6:5-7 " "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty." Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said," See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sins atoned for."

A New Saying

I remember that my mother had many sayings when I was growing up. The one that stands out to me is: "You butt with your own head". It has proved to be true. I have found that I have a new saying of my own as of late and that I say it often. It applies to just about everything. My phrase is: "It is what it is." There is no need to stress about it or try to work to change it. There are some things about life that simply are what they are.

Yesterday we had to figure out how to hang mirrored doors on the closet if we wanted to have them. The fact that the old farmhouse closet has no standard measurement is just a fact. The floors are uneven and the width is indeed five feet at one spot. It is not five feet, however, at other spots. The closet opening is 80 inches high----on one end. The project of hanging the closet doors might have only been a thirty minute project had the closet been "standard". With the challenges we faced, it was an almost four hour project filled with creativity to make it work. We could have gotten frustrated and irritated, but that would not have changed the closet opening even a fraction of an inch. It is what it is.

There is no need to wish for fast food in the late evening. There is none. It is what it is. Case closed.

We are surrounded by fields. Those fields have field mice. We have mice occasionally in the house (although much less alarming to us than when we first moved in-- still unpleasant). We have cats outside to help catch mice, we keep things clean inside, we seal up every possible entry port from the outside, we set sticky traps. We do all we can to prevent them, but it is what it is.

Ben can be less than motivated when it is time to help me bring in firewood for the day/night. If we don't take the ashes out, bring in wood, take the time to start the fire, and keep it going, we will be cold. It is what it is. If we want to be warm, we will do the work.

That fire keeps the house toasty until it dies out in the middle of the night. The house gets cooler in the night. It is what it is. We cover up with blankets, wear good socks, and keep our bedroom doors open to get as much of the heat as we can.

A couple of weeks ago, there was a critter at the front door with big yucky yellow teeth hissing at our kitties, and I had to decide what to do. It is what it is. It would have done me no good to wish it wasn't there-- instead, just grab the shovel and chop it in half. (It was a gopher, by the way.)

It is a freeing way to think. It is what it is, so what am I going to do with it? How will I handle the challenge at hand? My energy can be used finding a solution or coping with things as they are rather than getting wrapped up in wishing things were different. I feel like this aspect of our move to the country has been one of the many positive changes for me. Roll up your sleeves, grab your work gloves or shovel and deal with it with grace. I feel sure that my kids will find themselves saying my saying when they are grown and chuckling. Oh well, it is what it is.

Matthew 6:27, 34 "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Baby, it's warm inside.

It has been a long time since I have written of our adventures here on the prairie in the shadow of the Greenhorn Mountain. Please don't be fooled. Our days have not been adventureless. On the contrary, these have been six weeks of being so tired that when I finally sit down, I fall asleep almost immediately. Complete sentences are at times a thing of the past.

The last time that I wrote the leaves were changing. Those said leaves are gone-- gone to Kansas perhaps in the 85+ mph winds. We have not leaf one left to rake. There is a booth in the mall in Pueblo that is a wind tunnel that has 78 mph winds. You can pay money to stand in the hurricane force winds. My kids get the biggest kick out of seeing that booth. They tell me that we should charge people to come to our house and walk from the house to the stable in the wind. Powerful does not begin to describe the feel of those winds--- not to mention the noise. There is no such sweet sound as the absence of the wind after it has been blowing non-stop for ten or twelve hours. I hear tales of pioneer women going mad from the winds-- I believe it. The noise and the force of the wind is a beating of the body and the mind. What a beautiful and very small glimpse of the might of God followed by a momentary "aaahhh" at the peace and stillness He provides.

In the midst of the still and the windy days, our chores remain as before. There are animals to care for and the winter brings with it the addition of the chopping and stacking of firewood, moving around 100 pieces of wood to the stack on the front porch, bringing in 10-15 pieces each evening to have next to the wood-burning stove, keeping water in the cast iron kettle on the top of the stove, and starting a fire and keeping it going. We have been able to use only the stove so far this fall/winter (not our propane furnace) even through a few pretty good snows and many very cold days and nights below freezing. It has become a part of everyday life and is a warm and comforting part of our home. We are all continually learning that sometimes things that take some effort bring much joy.

Speaking of effort, my husband has put in almost eight years of effort toward a PhD. There is much joy in finishing something that has been much work. He will officially no longer be a student in a month and life beyond his studies is beginning to come over the horizon.

The winds of change are always around. There is much joy in the work and the rest and in the noise and the silence.

Isaiah 9:6 "For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and the government will be upon his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Seasons

Things are changing. It is getting chilly here. We have had several nights in the twenties. We finally have our wood burning stove and have it hooked up. To have a fire, we needed wood. You can get a permit here for just a few dollars and head up the mountain and get up to three cords of wood you cut from fallen trees. We were fortunate for our first wood trip to know someone who has many trees down that he would love cleared out. Harland borrowed our pastor's chainsaw and filled up his truck bed with cut wood. The next several nights were filled with after-work wood splitting before dark. He said it is amazingly easier to do than he remembered. Funny how that works- he is no longer a scrawny sixth grader. He is a big tall grown man and the ax seems much lighter and smaller than it used to. He only needs a flannel plaid shirt.

The leaves continue to change into a myriad of bright colors, and the mountain tops are now covered with snow. The scenery changes day to day. There is a new found urgency to get winter gear in order--- serious winter gear. We have been told that it is very typical to have lots of snow on Halloween. I had better come up with some warm costumes.

We had a "Wild Kingdom" moment last week during an early breakfast before school. We looked out the kitchen window just after sunrise around 6:45am and saw something big and black running across the back field. We thought it was someone's loose cow (that happens sometimes), but we grabbed our binoculars that we keep handy and realized that it was not a cow. It was a really big black bear. He was running for the hills-- literally. He was a good mile or mile and a half from the hills which have some brush and tree cover. He ran the whole way across the fields. I am not sure what he had been after, but I bet he burned off whatever calories he had eaten. We do have some of the cacti with the red cactus flowers in the field. They are said to love them. Maybe he just got caught up in the lure of the cactus flowers and lost track of time. As he was running, we noticed that we were not the only ones watching him. There was a coyote following him in the high grass. As the bear headed over a little slope in the field, he came upon a herd of about twelve antelope. They were surprised and took off at cheetah-like speed away from the bear. It was one crazy breakfast. On the drive to school we followed up the morning animal fest with a few hawks, some deer, a fox, and some rabbits.

Things are changing constantly, and we are continually adapting. It is that way everywhere any of us live. It is just so evident in nature here that it causes me to think of the changes and the seasons of life more than when we lived in the hustle and bustle of the city. Reflection on where we have been in the summer and on the promise of a time of winter rest before the spring refreshing is a good thing. A time to reflect is good. Changes are good.

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 11 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven; He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God had done from beginning to end."

A Little Six Month Update

Life in the country six months after moving:

I went to "town" yesterday to do some errands, and I had a car full of people in the Target parking lot ask me where I had been mudding because they were jealous of the mud on my vehicle. I was able to say that I had indeed not been mudding but just driving on the dirt and gravel roads to and from my house.

On Friday, I had a gal at work (who also lives in my area) ask me if my kids were at home. I replied that they were, and she told me I might want to text my husband and have him bring the kids inside for the day. The Department of Wildlife was on a bear hunt that morning to rid the area of some "bad bears". They were out to kill ten to fifteen bears who had become too at ease around people and their homes and trash. The warning had gone out for children to be inside in case a bear was injured but not killed and escaped the hunters. I let Harland know about the happenings, but was thankful that we live a little ways away from the high bear activity zone.

Our mouse issues have settled down in the past month or two. I am guessing that it is just warm weather (and lots of snakes-haha). We had an unexpected encounter this past week, however. We finally bought a wood burning stove for the house, and Harland moved it into the house and proceeded to remove the crate packaging that was around the approximately 300 pound beast. What was inside the crate?--- of course-- mice--- several mice and a nest to boot. These mice were not country mice. They had ridden in the crate from the city and were unable to think on their feet and escape. They moved very slowly, and we decided to use them to help teach our kittens about mice. We were able to catch two of them with a pair of pliers and throw them outside to the cats and one other was unfortunate enough to get under Harland's boot and meet its doom.

As the weather is getting cooler, we are so glad to report that it has been almost a month since we have seen a rattler on our property. We are seeing tons of deer and antelope, and we have had two bull elks on our road. I have seen two roadrunners and still hear multiple coyotes daily. The dogs bark almost all night at all of the critters they see or think they see in the yard and field. They bark so much at night that they have virtually no voice in the daytime as they rest up for another round. It is a good thing we live with absolutely NO neighbors.

Speaking of our wacky dogs, Honey is now just turning one (approximately since she is a shelter dog) and Ranger is about 9 months. They are still our giant babies, and they have daily alpha battles and are still growing like weeds. Honey may be slowing down in her growth, but the giant white dog's stilt legs are still growing. He is about 100 pounds now and should get to be about 150 when he is full grown. Since they are so big (Honey is about 70lbs.), they eat a lot of dog food. I realized the other day as I hoisted the 44 pound of dog food into the car without any difficulty that even four months ago I couldn't even move the bag let alone pick it up and toss it around. I guess my muscles are getting stronger through the hard things much like I think our character is getting stronger with every new trial.

It feels like we have been in this beautiful place so much longer than six months. I still can't get over the mountains. I still can't get over the wildlife. I still can't get over the quiet and the stillness. I hope I never do.

Psalm 65:5-6 "You answer us with awesome deeds of righteousness, O God our Savior, the hope of all the ends of the earth and of the farthest seas, who formed the mountains by your power, having armed yourself with strength..."

Changes

The leaves are starting to change, and there is snow visible now on Pike's Peak. The bears are getting ready to hibernate. We think that the rattlesnakes are heading back to their holes. Change is in the air.

In the midst of the change around us, I am also entering a change. I am announcing that I have come out of retirement. Much like Brett Favre, I have felt the need to be back in the pocket. We have found life on the prairie to be quite costly, and I have been looking for a part time job for a couple of months now.

I started this past week at a community clinic in town as an OB nurse. In today's work and economic climate, we are so thankful for a job period, but we are especially thankful for a job that is only part time and is polar opposite of what I have worked for most of the past eight years. I am used to working ALL weekends, nights, and holidays, and this job is NO weekends, nights, or holidays. It will prove to feel very strange I am sure.

So... my seven month retirement stint is over. I think it was beautifully timed for my sanity. I was able to adjust a bit to the start up of rural living and handle the stressors thrown our way without outside work.

Work is not a bad word. It is what we do on this earth. I am hopeful that my work will make a difference in the lives of others. I am hopeful that I can remind myself to be thankful that I am healthy and able to work hard. We are a family in the midst of some more change. We are enjoying the changing seasons together and seeking to see the beauty in each one that comes our way.

Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."

Pride

There is a sense of pride that I think every mother and father feel about their children. I have felt it for over twelve years now, but yesterday my understanding of pride moved to a whole new level.

I am proud, at times, of accomplishments and proud of behavior, but yesterday I became proud of actual character. Harland and I felt like we had been plopped down in the midst of a Hallmark movie set and our child was the main character. Tears were flowing.

The setting was the first district cross country meet. Now, the Casons and the Cushings have historically never been known for running. Ben joined cross country at his middle school and has been improving his time on the two mile each practice. I can truly say that I hate to run (unless chased), and two miles is a very long way to me.

The team is made up of about 12 girls and 12 boys. The boys ran first yesterday (along with about 70 other boys from different schools). Ben was immediately in the back of the pack and there he stayed for the entire race. He was in last place. The other boys lapped him. We were on the sideline cheering him on. His coach was cheering him on. If that had been me, I would have quit in the first lap. He kept going.

The last portion of the race was around the track. All other 70ish boys had finished, and Ben was approaching the track. He ran the entire track alone with his team cheering him on like he was the leader. It was too much-- Harland and I were bawling. He finished. I have never been more proud. He wasn't embarrassed about being last. He did it. He finished the race. He has perseverance that I know for a fact I did not possess as a seventh grader, and I do not think I possess to that level even now.

What a great life lesson we got to see right in front of us. We have six more meets in the coming weeks--- I hope our emotions can take it. I will bring some tissues next time in my pocket.

Acts 20:24 "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-- the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."